nikki: February 2006 archives


On School, Mac & Love

[ rakaur on Tue Feb 28 at 03:18 PM // category: apple, hardware, life, nikki, relationships, school, siue, software, technology ]

So, I fucking hate my new college, and I’m not even there yet.

I applied on January 9th (no Shostakovich jokes, please) and as of yesterday I hadn’t heard anything back. So I called, and some woman answers “SIU Edwardsville.” I say “I have a question about admissions” and she says “ok” and suddenly the phone starts ringing again. Gosh, thanks for letting me know you were going to transfer me. It rang for a solid two minutes, then someone else answers “SIU Edwardsville.” So, once again “I have a question about admissions” and at least this time I get an “ok let me transfer you to admissions.” Phone rings there for about 30 seconds until I finally get to someone that can help me.

“Yes, I see that your check has cleared. However, we never got a copy of your transcript from Lewis and Clark. We assumed you were currently enrolled.” No one fucking told me I had to go do that, I figured for $30 they could request it themselves, but no. So my application has just been sitting there for two months. So, now I have to go to Godfrey and pay them to send a transcript. Fucking assholes. I told the lady “for $30 you should be able to do that yourselves” and she says “sorry, send it” and hung up on me.

Good times.

Also, I’m going to have to take out like a $2,650, four year loan or something, just to buy shit for school. Since I have to spend a shitload of money anyway, I figured best thing to do is get a laptop (excuse me, notebook). So I looked for the thinnest, lightest, longest battery life notebooks I could find, and came up with Sony VIAOs, which are like $2k. I poked around for a few hours trying to find other solutions, but they’re all around $2k, give or take a few hundred dollars. So, I think to myself “fuck it, I’m getting a Mac.” So I go look up the new MacBook Pros. They’re pretty sexy. A MacBook Pro, plus extra battery and a backpack that will carry it is going to run like $2.2k. Same as any other notebook coming close to the specifications I need. So, why not? Why get a Sony VIAO and live with the giant piece of crap known as the Windows Desktop Experience? If I do that, I’ll use Windows XP and Office 2003, which suck. They both suck. The constant crashing and stupid buggy crap will drive me just about batshit crazy. So, if I wipe it and throw some Linux distro on there I’ll have to suffer through the Linux Desktop Configuration File Experience, and I am just about sick, sick, sick to death of that shit. Trying for hours just to get X Windows working, and good fucking luck with sound. Why should I even have to think about shit like that? Isn’t this a “modern” operating system? And if I do that I’ll be using OpenOffice, which leaves a whole lot to be desired. I’d probably end up writing most of my shit in vi and pasting it into OO. So why not just get a slick MacBook with Mac OS X? Apple’s software is way more minimalist and simple than Microsoft’s piles of shit. I’ve been wanting one anyway, so, there.

Good times.

I had a nice long talk with Nikki last night, about her past. I only knew half of it, and half of it was a big lie. Every now and then it’d get to me, and get me kind of depressed. Some of the shit is hard to accept. After talking to her, though, from start to finish, with the whole truth, it’s not so bad. I feel a lot better about everything, and so does she, and we’re even closer than we were before. More and more, I can see myself spending the rest of my life with her. It’s only been eight months, but people have gotten married in less. I swore up and down I’d never do it, but I can’t see myself without her. I really do love her.

Good times.

-- rakaur // 2006.02.28 @ 03:18 PM

And My Soul From Out That Shadow

[ rakaur on Wed Feb 22 at 12:20 PM // category: life, nikki, relationships ]

It’s been a while since I’ve been at this screen.

Been pretty busy. I’m at work a lot, which is pretty much 80% of my time. I don’t even have the energy to bitch about it anymore. I do more than most people there, and I get paid the same. It sucks. Bitch bitch, etc.

When I’m not at work, I try to be with my girlfriend as much as possible. As of 6:15 Tuesday night, she’s no longer pregnant. I haven’t seen her since Sunday, but I talk to her on the phone. Her parents won’t let me come to the hospital. So far as I can tell she’s holding up extremely well for someone in her position. Probably better than I am. I’m so worried she’s not going to be able to make it through this, and I can’t lose her. She called me at 3:00 last night, pretty depressed about things. But on the whole, she’s holding up very well. It’s a boy.

I don’t know, I think I’m just worried that everything is going to change. Everyone’s telling me that she doesn’t need me anymore so she’s going to break up with me, which I highly doubt is the case. But you know me, absolutely no self-esteem even though I really should because there’s no reason for me not to.

Last night I was seriously just walking around my room at midnight, laughing and crying in a very weird sort of way. I was pretty sure I went bonkers there for a while. I went to bed Monday night and I was fine, woke up Tuesday morning and I had a fever and couldn’t talk. I felt like I’d drank an entire keg. I’m still sick today, but no fever. I don’t know what’s up with that. I’m tending to think it’s all in my head, and it’s just this situation making me sick.

It’s kind of funny. I thought she needed me to get through this, not the other way around.

-- rakaur // 2006.02.22 @ 12:20 PM

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