pain: February 2008 archives


Diagnosis?

[ rakaur on Tue Feb 26 at 04:26 PM // category: drugs, health, life, pain ]

I have a second appointment with my pain management doctor on Friday. I’m not really holding my breath, because so far he’s done exactly dick. Two months of physical therapy and my PT today said she thinks it’s ankylosing spondylitis, which is something I’ve been thinking for a month now. I have to wonder if me and a medical professional thinking it at the same time has any meaning.

The last three days have been torture. Constant, unrelenting pain all the way up my spine, especially my neck. For hours I just writhe around in pain. The pain itself doesn’t even seem that bad, in terms of intensity. It’s some other… property… of the pain that causes me to be overwhelmed by it. That’s why I have such a difficult time assigning a pain score. The pain itself isn’t that bad, but my ability to deal with it is nonexistent? I don’t know. I’ve given up trying to describe it.

If my doctor doesn’t do anything for me on Friday I’m going to ask to see a rheumatologist. Even if it is AS, there’s nothing I can do about it. TNF inhibitors are $18k a year… that’s more than I make. DAMRDs aren’t cheap either, and I have no idea what their efficacy is.

Sigh.

-- rakaur // 2008.02.26 @ 04:26 PM

Who Needs a Title Anyway?

[ rakaur on Sun Feb 24 at 07:00 PM // category: health, life, pain ]

Today’s been a bad day. The worst day I’ve had in a long time, in fact. I spent an hour this morning crying, pacing around, nothing helped. I was pretty close to going to the ER. I probably should have. The pain was all up my spine, sometimes to either side, and my neck. I can’t begin to describe what it felt like. It’s not a “type” of pain that I’ve ever felt anywhere else. I don’t even know what to do. I’m so frustrated and helpless, I just can’t stand it. I barely ate anything. I had to call off work.

My eyes have been bothering me. Nothing seems to be wrong with them, but it’s been hard to focus all day. Just seems like my eyes don’t want to look at any one thing for longer than a few seconds.

This is so frustrating. I don’t know if the neck pain is related or if it’s random. I don’t know if the eye stuff is related. How can I tell what symptoms are if everything hurts?

-- rakaur // 2008.02.24 @ 07:00 PM

To Summarize

[ rakaur on Mon Feb 11 at 11:57 AM // category: health, life, pain ]

Nothing has gotten better. I’m unable to sit through entire classes without either taking something or getting up, leaving, walking around the hall for a few minutes and coming back in. I have to do this once or twice in my 50 minute classes, and 3-4 times in my hour and a half classes. On my off days (that is, days where I neither work nor have school) I usually end up sitting around at home. I have to get up every 30 minutes or so to do something. I’m thinking I’d be better off if I started running again, but I can’t even think about doing that without some kind of pain relief.

My average school day consists of waking up (if I slept) at a 4 or 5 on the pain scale, walking around my room for a few minutes until the pain gets negligible. I do my PT stretches, take a shower, get dressed, head out for school. After walking the mile from my car to class it feels good to sit down, but after about 30 minutes of sitting I have to get up, go out in the hall, and walk around for a few minutes. The worst is lunch, where I also have to get up and walk around, since my lunch is two and a half hours. Sometimes the walking doesn’t help, and stretches don’t help, so I take half a Vicodin. I walk the mile back to my car and drive home. If I don’t have to work, I lay around, do my PT stretches, and try to go to bed. It usually takes me 1-2 hours to get to sleep, where “sleep” means a continuous state of being “almost asleep” for five to eight hours. Most nights I give up on sleep, but when I’m extremely tired I take half a Vicodin or some Flexeril or sometimes diphenhydramine. I wake up tired, in pain, and do it all over again.

On days that I work I last about an hour and a half without pain meds. I take a Vicodin on each of my 15 minute breaks, and on bad days, lunch as well. An average work day consisting of a 7-9 hour shift is usually accompanied by 2-3 Vicodin. I know the dosing is 1 tab po q6-8h but they just plain don’t last that long when I’m continuously active; it’s more like q3-5h. I make sure to never exceed 4,000mg of APAP. I can avoid taking anything 95% of the time that I’m not at work, but when I’m there if I don’t take anything I simply cannot do my job. On days that I forget to bring pills or don’t have any I have to leave early.

When first waking up, and in general when I’m not working/active for long periods, the pain is a dull ache in my tailbone and lower back, and is fairly tolerable. It hurts, I’m not having a good time, but I make it. When I’m at work/active for long periods, the pain arches all the way up my spine, sometimes as far as my neck, and it just aches. It’s a hard pain to describe because I don’t know what to compare it to. It’s a constant pain, and is exacerbated considerably by bending the spine. It’s a very painful stiffness. It’s borderline intolerable, usually what I’d say 7-8 on the pain scale.

Thus has been my life for the last two months.

-- rakaur // 2008.02.11 @ 11:57 AM

« pain: January 2008 | Main Index | Archives | pain: March 2008 »