Never More
[ rakaur on Sun Aug 17 at 01:40 PM // category: nih, work ]
So, I live in Baltimore with Steve now.
I had once mentioned that if he could get me a job working with him, that’d be cool. So, when he called me a couple weeks ago and told me he had done just that, I was a bit surprised. I had about two weeks to decide whether or not to move. Well, I did.
I start work tomorrow, with the whole background check and paperwork and such going forward. I’m currently in residence with Steve on his living room floor. That’ll probably be slightly less than a month, hopefully. My girlfriend and I are hopeful for a certain apartment that’s available in mid-to-late September. That would be a nice birthday present.
This was supposed to be a nice, long thoughtful entry, but, that’s pretty much it.
-- rakaur // 2008.08.17 @ 01:40 PM
A Brief History of Pain
[ rakaur on Sun Aug 03 at 10:51 AM // category: drugs, health, life, pain ]
Okay, so I haven’t touched on this subject in a while. Nothing had happened in a long time, because none of the doctors I had access to gave a shit. That changed when the clinic I go to got taken over by some new network, and got a new doctor. I figured I’d give him a try.
So I went in and gave him a brief history, but he could tell by the size of my file that I had been going at this for some time. We went through everything I’ve tried and done and tests I’ve had, etc. We touched on Marfan’s, and made an appointment for a specialist (which isn’t until October). Then, something happened. For the first time in the couple years I’ve been dealing with this, he said “we need to find some form of pain control.” He gave me tramadol. I could have wept.
Unfortunately, the tramadol wasn’t strong enough to do much for the pain. So I used it for a week, then called, and he added diclofenac to the tramadol. I did this for about a week, and it wasn’t working either, so I called again, and he asked me to come in.
I went in Friday, and we went over the stuff again, and he agreed to treat me with stronger medicine until my appointment, and we’ll figure out what we need to do long-term from there (hopefully). So now I’m on a daily regimen of Tylenol #3 (co-codamol), meloxicam, and cyclobenzaprine. I’ve only been on it for a few days, but so far it seems to be doing more than anything else in recent memory.
I hope.
-- rakaur // 2008.08.03 @ 10:51 AM
Yep, Windows Still Sucks
[ rakaur on Sun Aug 03 at 09:51 AM // category: apple, microsoft, software, technology ]
Just in case you were wondering. Let me share a tale with you.
A week or so ago my laptop’s hard drive died. I am currently poor, so that means my laptop is out of commission. This also means the only computer I have available to me is running Windows XP. And I am sad.
Since I was stuck with using Windows, I was left without my beloved Apple Mail. Since Dreamhost’s server-side mail filters catch next to nothing, I was relying on Mail’s client-side filter, which itself isn’t that great. Without even that, though, it was impossible to wade through my inbox. I’ll not shame Outlook’s spam filter with a mention.
So, I decided to move my mail from Dreamhost to “Google Apps.” I figured I’d move it over, use gmail’s web interface until I got my laptop back up, then enable IMAP within gmail and use Mail as normal, with the added benefit of Google’s spam filter, which is excellent. This in itself was not difficult.
The difficultly lies in the fact that I have around 10,000 emails, and I wanted to keep them. Not as easy.
Click here to read this entire entry.
-- rakaur // 2008.08.03 @ 09:51 AM
As Fleeting As Ever
[ rakaur on Sun Jul 20 at 08:30 PM // category: drugs, health, life, pain ]
My grandmother on my father’s side died on Thursday.
I am still unemployed.
Also on Thursday, I had an appointment with my usual clinic doctor. Apparently, the clinic was taken over by some other “network” or whatever the organizations are, and there was a new doctor. And he was awesome. I ran through my history, and mentioned the possibility of dural ecstasia due to Marfan’s syndrome, and he ran out and got like three textbooks and ran back in and sat down and talked to me like I was his best friend. He made an appointment for me with a cardiologist (though it’s quite far away; October 22nd) and gave me a prescription for tramadol and told me to call back in a week to see if it was working. Unfortunately it’s not, so I guess I’ll try to find some way to say that without appearing ungrateful for the medicine. Maybe this guy will actually figure things out. It sure would be nice.
I miss Kori.
-- rakaur // 2008.07.20 @ 08:30 PM
Hard Times for Hard Drives
[ rakaur on Mon Jul 07 at 05:03 PM // category: life, work ]
The hard drive in my laptop finally died. I probably won’t be around until it can be replaced.
I am also currently unemployed. Someone give me a job.
-- rakaur // 2008.07.07 @ 05:03 PM
Another Trip to the ER!
[ rakaur on Wed May 14 at 06:16 PM // category: drugs, health, life, pain ]
I ran out of medicine, and I was doing alright for a week or so but then it started hitting me hard. Last night it was bad, and then all of a sudden started shooting down my left leg (which it has never done before) and it was awful. I started feeling sick and having the usual bowel issues that accompanies my symptoms. I didn’t want to go, because they never do anything for me, but I didn’t know what else I could do, so I went to the ER.
I got there and did the usual questions and they took me straight to the back. Walking was painful. As soon as I got back there a doctor came in and I gave him the symptoms and a brief history and the first thing he said is “it’s weird that your ESR and CRP are normal… but have you heard of ankylosing spondylitis?” That makes like four or five people that have suggested it. He told me to forget my regular doctors and go see a rheumatologist. He asked me what medicine I had and was appalled that all I take is naproxen. He gave me a shot of hydromorphone (Dilaudid) which totally took the pain away, and he gave me a script for a handful of Vicodin. I was almost in tears I was so relieved.
I tried to call my PCP to make an appointment with a rheumatologist but apparently there aren’t any at my hospital. That means I’d have to pay upfront for one. I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do about this. I’m now accepting PayPal donations (only partly joking I’m afraid).
I’m unsure what to do. Fingers crossed I guess.
-- rakaur // 2008.05.14 @ 06:16 PM
Knee Pain
[ rakaur on Mon Apr 28 at 11:40 AM // category: health, life, pain ]
Had some bad knee pain this morning. Could barely put any weight on it in the shower. This is a first.
-- rakaur // 2008.04.28 @ 11:40 AM
Lost
[ rakaur on Sun Apr 27 at 03:49 PM // category: health, life, pain ]
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m out of medicine and I work in two hours. If I lose my job I lose what little is left of my life. I feel like there’s nothing left but to give up.
-- rakaur // 2008.04.27 @ 03:49 PM
[ rakaur on Mon Apr 21 at 10:42 PM // category: software, technology // comments: 2 ]
I’m currently trying out this Twitter thing. I am unsure as to whether or not I like it yet.
-- rakaur // 2008.04.21 @ 10:42 PM
Test Results
[ rakaur on Mon Apr 21 at 11:46 AM // category: health, life, pain ]
Just got my results, c-reactive protein and sed rate were normal. This explains why NSAIDs aren’t really effective. Rheumatoid factor was normal, and I’m HLA-B27 negative. This is good news.
So why do I feel so crappy? I feel as if I’m just that much further from an answer. Without inflammation, what can it even be? Now my PCP doesn’t really believe me, and won’t give me any more medicine. What should I do? I can’t work without the medicine, and I can’t afford to lose my job. I don’t know what I can do.
I feel hopeless.
-- rakaur // 2008.04.21 @ 11:46 AM
